18 months before. Place: Some state, USA (most obvious onsite location...)
Tring tring...
B –> Hello Mummy...
M –> Hello... kaise ho beta...
B –> Thik hoon!
M –> Khana kha liya?
B –> Nahin Mummy... abhi nahin... abhi to khana ban hi raha hai...
M –> To, time kya hua hai wahan...
B –> Abhi to bas 11 hi baje hain...
M –> Time se kyon nahin kha lete beta...
B –> Haan Mummy... aage se will take care of it... aap tension na lo...
M –> Aur kaisa chal raha hai tera kaam...?
B –> Kaun sa kaam? O'h haan kaam... thik chal raha hai Mummy... badhiya... Abhi
thoda pressure hai...but ho jayega normal 1-2 hafte mein... (This 2 week never
comes)
Blah... blah... blah...
M –> Chalo beta main phone rakhti hoon... aur haan time pe khana kha liya kar... badi
chinta hoti hai teri; I know ki kitna careless hai tu bachpan se...
B –> Sure Mummy! Promise!! Pakka se... agle hafte to gym bhi join kar lunga (though
it takes couple of years for this agla hafta to come)... bye Mummy...aap apna
khayal rakhna...
Few months later:
Tring tring...
B –> Hello Mummy... Pranam Mummy!
M –> Khush raho beta... kaise ho tum?
B –> Badhiya...
M –> Kaisa chal raha hai tera kaam...
B –> Kaaam...? Kaun sa kaaam...? O'h haan kaam... badhiya chal raha hai... abhi thoda
pressure hai... but ho jayega normal 1-2 hafte mein...
M –> Aur khana kha liya?
B –> Nahin Mummy... abhi to ban hi raha hai...
M –> Beta isliye kahti hoon... ab shaadi kar lo...
B –> Kya Mummy.... khane ka shaadi se kya lena... aur waise bhi, main kaun sa akele
banata hoon... hain na room-mates... sab milke banate hain...
M –>Rahne de... Samajh gayi... accha tera wapas aane ka kya plan hai...
B –> Pata nahin Mummy...2-3 mahine aur lagenge...dekhte hain... project thoda
extend ho gaya hai abhi... (project time pe complete ho, aisa kabhi hota hai kya...)
M –> Accha sun... Bua-ji ek ladki ke bare mein bata rahi thi... ek kaam kar... Papa se
baat kar le...
Mummy whispers to Papa while giving the handset "Kah raha hai, 2-3 mahine aur legenge..."
Papa will repeat the entire story again in a different tone and with few cosmetic tweaks in the just completed Mummy's version.
This continues for few months... every time Bua-ji gets replaced by Maasi\Chachi\Mausa-ji\Fufa-ji\Uncle\Paas-wale-Uncle\Dur-wale-Uncle\Chhote-Uncle\Bade-Uncle and bahot-sare-Uncle...
Few more months later:
Tring tring...
B –> Hello Mummy...
M –> Hello... kaise ho beta... Aane ka kya hua final?????
B –> Ho jayega Mummy... agle mahine tak aa jaunga (Agla Month != Current month + 1
more month)
M –> Accha sun... chhote uncle ne jo photo bheji thi... tujhe pasand aayi? Mujhe to
Ladki badi pasand aayi...
B –> Nahin Mummy... abhi dekhi nahin (after seeing 10 times at every possible zoom
%) ... aaj kal thoda work pressure hai nah... project ka release hai... blah... blah...
M –> Accha rahne de... apna khayal rakhna aur woh photo dekh ke bata dena... Ladki
acchi hai... Khana bhi bahot accha banati hai...
You whisper "to bolo nah Dhaba khol le..." (You never hesitate to react like this for no reason)
M –> Aur haan - "seriously tujhe job wali chahiye?????????????"
Suddenly Papa takes the handset and starts with all Hi-Hello-Pranam rituals and repeats the same Girl story by changing Uncle with Maasi\Chachi\Mausa-ji\Fufa-ji\Dusre Uncle\Paas-wale-Uncle\Dur-wale-Uncle and bahot-sare-Naye-Uncle...
This continues in iteration and somehow your status changes from Single-to-Confused –> Confused-to-Helpless –> Helpless-to-Engaged
Post engagement period:
Tring tring...
B –> Hello Mummy...
M –> Hello... kaise ho beta... Shaadi ki date final kar li hain hamne... tab tak to aa jaoge
nah?
B –> Haan Mummy! Ab to aana hi padega nah... Aap tension na lo... maine baat kar li
hain... 1-2 hafte mein aane ka date final ho jayega...
M –> Accha hai...chal, ab aaja jaldi-jaldi... aur tera phone nahin lagta aaj kal... Papa ne
bhi bahot baar try kari thi kal... (Without any explanation, Mummy assumes you
were busy with your to-be-wife)
B –> Mera phone to free rahta hai Mummy... kuchh problem hogi N\W mein...waise aaj
kal thoda work pressure hai nah... project ka release hai... blah... blah...
It continues......
The Bottom, the line: If you can't avoid it... Enjoy it!!!
Declaration: The stories, characters and events are purely fictional. Any similarities to actual location, persons, living, dead, or walking dead and to actual events are purely coincidental. I take no responsibility for the harm it may cause to your gray cells.
